“I’ve been locked up 3 times, since my son passed away. I’m going through a lot. My son was 5 years old and he passed away this year. I’m trying to shake back and get back on the right path. I’ve got 4 other kids and stuff. I’m just going through a lot.
He had an allergic reaction to peanuts. I was getting ready to start a new job at the hospital. He had an allergic reaction, which was unexpected. He wasn’t with me at the time. I let him go to his grandmother’s house and that was my last time seeing him. That shit hurts. It still hurts. It was just March 31st of this year. It’s still raw.
I’ve been dealing with it in the wrong ways. I act on shit and then about shit later. That’s what’s been getting me in trouble. I don’t know how to deal with grief and I keep so much anger built up. The smallest thing will trigger it.
My kids keep me motivated. I gotta get back to what I was doing at first. I still got kids to take care of and this ain’t doing nothing but hurting them. I just want me and my kids to be straight. That’s all I worry about. I ain’t the type of person that goes to clubs or anything. I’m just all about my kids.
I do want to go back to school. I wanted to work my way up at the hospital but I ain’t gonna let this stop me. I’m gonna get back in it. I want to do anything in the hospital field. I just want to do something different.
Love your kids. Be there. There’s a lot of parents that are absent. You just never know when it’s going to be your child’s last. At least I can say that I was there for my son. But something happens to them and you never get the chance to say you love them or say bye or anything like that.” - Devanna, Shawnee